as my Mexican in the city of Novosibirsk went This story is absolutely true, occurred in the era of the first board Comrade Putin. But because of the vow of silence imposed on me at the time the largest bank in Russia, expounding it just now.
first series.
Solar April morning. City of Novosibirsk. I go, whistling bird of joy: just my mexican online girlfriend Veronica, which communicated in a network nearly two years, sent a note. Say, Karina, I mean the road in June, I leave, therefore, want to come to you - look personally on you and your wonderful country to Russia, about which so much reading.
How much should an unmarried peasant to be happy? Immediately send answer: wait for thee, my dear, as the Russian Nightingale - Mexican summer. Take a ticket and fly. And do not be afraid, at Sheremetyevo meeting.
Oh, he would know prikup - I would live in Sochi. Away from Novosibirsk.
The next day, from Mexico comes SMSka: Karin, I can not buy a ticket for entry to Russia need visa.
So pretending: I overestimated the Russian democracy. Or underestimated, which is essentially the same thing. But until June for another two months - break through.
I collect paper. Thank God for all of my questionnaires solid "do not have," not involved ", not" sitting "," to the state secrets was not allowed. " In short, until the ideal citizen, that already very sick. A couple of days are done - there were carried by cavalry at a gallop in his native OVIR Dzerzhinsky district of Novosibirsk city, which I did.
take refuge in a lather, as the horse Budyonny after the attack. Turn. Waiting. I walked into the office.
sits a girl. In uniform. Blond. Then stab me bad feeling - in vain, perhaps, about this lady's suit composed jokes? Well, to go nowhere to go - hold out the paper. A girl reads them. I. ..
As they say my friends preferansisty in such cases - in the face demolition. Flying my documents back to me with words - take away and redo!
- What remake?
- And you can not see? You have two names written there. In short, one black out, and that this - leave!
must say: they call my favorite girlfriend Veronica Alejandra Leyva Galway. Mexicans have adopted English system: a person may have one or two names (and sometimes both), plus the father's name plus the name of the mother. And this combination can be written in all its documents.
- Girl, but it's Mexican, it is actually two names!
- know nothing. Leave this, the second clean up!
Twenty minutes of dialogue and oppressive, as a child's toffee. Finally, my has - she takes the paper again. I look - in her hand appears pencil, whom she begins to change something. Oh, dear, I'll show a professional journalist: I can read the text upside down with the same speed as usual. So it is: Blond cross out the name of Alejandra and carefully inscribes the "A.". Veronica A. Leyva Galway. Shoot or not to live.
- Girl, but Alejandra - is there no middle name! This is her second name!
- Not morochte my head. The name is, the name is, but the rules between them can only be a middle name!
Another twenty minutes of dialogue. Spinal cord and part of the body, which is lower than it is physically feel like zvereet turn over door. Finally, the win finally: my paper are taken without editing. Now we just have to wait.
exactly one month again cross the threshold the same cabinet. The same girl shines as the May rose, and the chirps:
- all right - was allowed to enter your Mexican. Here is her invitation for a visa. Sign here. And do not forget: As soon as you arrive in Novosibirsk - right here to register! Immediately!
I take the invitation - a green paper. I read. In the course of dark eyes. Russian language clearly written: a citizen of Mexico, Veronica Alejandra Leyva Galway invites ...
Where do you think - In Russia?
But not guessed it - in pomershy many years ago the Soviet Union! And on the back of papers in five languages is painted like the look it was the Soviet, not Russian embassy.
remember all the vocabulary in a personal abusive words. Well I understand: union-pokoynichek this paper good for a hundred years ahead nashtampoval, here's Daughter Russia paternal paper and enjoy for free. But as I explain my Mexican? Especially because I'm in English and it is in Russian - as the two pigs in oranges, all of our communication is at its primitive English.
But where to go? I called Veronica: Vera, Kariña, do not be surprised, but you instead of Russia in the Soviet Union will go. Yes, I know he is dead and disintegrated. But cut down on your nose - in a country Russia can not be anything surprising, but then quickly grow old.
The argument worked.
Intermedia.
carouse carouse way - wished my Veronica after Novosibirsk to visit my home town of Magadan. But according to Russian rules Mexican invitation to Magadan may fill only the resident, there are present. Do nothing, calling to his hometown favorite chemistry teacher: so they say so, dear Galina, there was you best friend in the country of Mexico, Be please, make her an invitation!
failed me endlessly I respected teacher - I did. Only now when she went to get that paper, Magadan OVIRovets asked her - and from what country is your friend coming? Well, she would take it and lyapni - from Brazil!
After this had her lame duck, beaten for half an hour to explain the interrogation opogonennomu servants of the law, it is still a teacher of chemistry, not geography, but in terms of atoms and molecules Brazil, Mexico, that - in fact, one of FIG. Framed the twisted policeman povypendrivalsya, but the paper gave. The same, green, with the same text - welcome in the USSR!
second series.
I remember: we arrived with Veronica in the glorious city of Novosibirsk on Monday evening. Time to explore the Siberian sites - three clean days. On Friday - in Magadan, the tickets in your pocket.
Tuesday. After dinner, on schedule OVIR, run register. The same study. The same blonde.
- So, your passport ... visa ... all is in order. Go to the savings bank, paying ten rubles gosposhiny and come out of turn - once registered.
Where there is paved road with good intentions?
I took its Mexican arm. We fly we had the savings bank and a half blocks from the Local Police Department. Enter. Dialogue with the girl in the window - the same way, the blonde:
- Tell me, I can for your favorite Mexican woman ten rubles to pay the registration fee?
- No, you can not.
- why is that?
- And we have no blank receipts. Nothing to write.
I looked - indeed, at the till empty. On the table - too. Okay, I think, sometimes, while the evening, ran out of forms. Tomorrow utrechka pay.
Wednesday. We go into the savings bank close to home. No forms. Find out that they all over the Dzerzhinsk region no. Moreover, the OVIR services in another area of the law can not pay. Thus, there was a woman cares - a woman bought a pig. Mexican ...
But do nothing. Veronica and take food from her main residence of the Novosibirsk Savings Bank in the city center. And the first thing we see out there on the ground floor - a savings bank. And in it, with the blond girl number three - those most cherished forms. A lot. But are far away, I do not paw reach. I went to the window:
- Sorry You can blanochek yonder?
- And why you?
- state duty pay.
- Which region?
- Dzerzhinsky.
- Well, here in my district and go! And here the state duty payment only for the Central District!
It was then that I exploded: the very last straw on camel's sniper accuracy fell on his back Magadan bear. Barks like a bear in the hall on a pure English of its Mexican - say, Faith, stay here and do not move, so I then found you when I get back. And an enraged beast tearing up - to the board of the bank.
protection for floors, walk like a knife through butter. Guardians sberbankovskogo order only hiccup and salute at the sight of my mini-library of the top three that neither is true red booklets - Spokesman serious federal offices, the press service of regional administration and the reporter's most influential city newspaper. Exactly two minutes later opened the door office zamestitelnitsy chairman. Thank the Lord, was lucky - this time the brown-haired. Blondes at this point I was fed up.
In a nutshell, the lady kindly explain the situation: say, dear, you are here because of the nasty forms, the price of them - a penny, international conflict is planned, plus a conflict with the press. It is you and your bank do you want?
forms? What forms? Vice banker does not believe, takes phone is ringing in the Dzerzhinsky district. Yes, confirm there - forms of savings banks was over, ordered but not yet delivered.
trumps in my arms - nothing to beat them. Therefore we find a compromise quickly: Brown - being reasonable. In exchange for my silence, my newspaper complete companion sends his secretary, and that for us with Veronica humbly begging for the same two forms in their own savings bank at the bottom. Hitchcock rest - to create a story to Hollywood can not do. Fantasy is not enough.
But for us the day is lost - OVIR closed. Return home.
Thursday. In the morning we go into the savings bank and pay ten rubles. Bezblanochny Dzerzhinsky people looking at us with fierce envy. But we sneeze at all - is finally going to register!
Finals. Nervous reading is not recommended.
same Thursday. The second half of the day. The same study. The same blonde in uniform We have already met as good friends.
- So, your passport checked ... a visa in order ... so, duty paid, the receipt is, well done ... everything is possible register. When depart from Novosibirsk?
- Tomorrow. To Magadan. Here are the tickets and an invitation.
girl energetically thinks. Then breaks into a smile.
- Tomorrow? So if you can do in Novosibirsk is not registered! In Magadan register. Happy way and all the best!
As I have not strangled at the moment with his hands, still can not understand. I think that innate reflex Kolyma worked - for a government official under the Criminal Code give more. And for my Mexican it would, perhaps, too strong impression about Russia and its mores.
On the way home had to buy three liters of German beer choice for mitigate comments. For Veronica could not wait to see What's so we did all these three days, instead of just wander through the pretty town of Novosibirsk is really really beautiful country Russian ...
